Jonathan Summers poses a question for those of us who enjoy reading the Bible over morning coffee (and worry about getting coffee all over the Bible):
Q. "For those of us who enjoy a good cup of java while reading Bibles, is there anything you can do about coffee stains in pages? My dad once spilled coffee all over Romans 9 in a brand new deluxe ESV."
A. When I was a kid, I used to soak regular paper in coffee to give it the faux parchment look. I discovered the trick in one of those activities for children books -- Step 1 in the "create your own buried treasure map" chapter, I think. The only thing you can do for coffee stains in a Bible is dip the rest of it, too, so you get an even, antiqued look. On hot days, or when your hands warm the pages, your Bible will give off a great aroma, too.
I have a history with coffee catastrophes. At the Genius Desk inside the Apple Store in the Houston Galleria, they used to call me "the guy who poured the latte into his 17 inch Powerbook." I earned this reputation by setting a full 20-ounce cup of Starbucks behind my laptop screen (right by the air vent), then forgetting about it until I knocked it over. The liquid emptied straight into the vent, and I was none the wiser until the screen flickered and went dark. When I picked the computer up off the desk, coffee literally poured from the case. I figured it was done for, but once it had time to dry, everything worked fine. And whenever the cooling fan came on, the air filled with a pleasant coffee aroma.
Not that I learned my lesson or anything.